2 April 2012 - Still didn't get to know the gender

               I had a lot of expectations for today - because I had my doctor's appointment and was hoping that I would get to know the gender of my baby. But I happened to be little disappointed because I didn't have any ultrasound prescribed for today. 

               I can say that it was a scary day as well. When the nurse came in smiling and told me that she is going to test the heart beat of the baby, both my husband and I sat in pin drop silence to listen to it. She moved that little electric machine all over the tummy and as the seconds passed, her smile faded away too. She was growing impatient and later she said, she will be right back and disappeared. In a minute, another nurse came in smiling and with a different machine. She tested it this time and I could see her worried face. She kept asking me questions like, "How many weeks now?", "When did you come for your last test?" Finally I couldn't keep quiet anymore and I asked her if something was wrong. She remembered her forgotten smile and said, nothing to worry and it is possible that baby is small, because the mother looks small too. But somehow I couldn't smile back at her. She told my husband that we can test the heart beat via ultrasound. They took me there and I was so relieved when I heard the super-fast heart beat and I knew for sure that it wasn't mine. Even my husband was smiling now. Test said that the heart beat of the baby is 148 per minute and that was normal. 

               It was later when doctor asked me if we got to know the gender, I realized about it and regretted for forgetting to check that. Doctor also said, the nurse would have told you that, if she could check the gender, it is possible that the baby was sleeping with its legs crossed hiding 'it'! But at the same time, we were happy that the baby is fine. 

               So today I thought I would know if you are my daughter or my son. Of course I was disappointed. But I was even more disappointed with you because you were fast asleep today! We had seen you just for a minute and couldn't you at least wave at your mom and dad? Last time when we saw you, you were dancing inside! You were kicking me so hard, I even wondered how in the world is it possible that I still don't feel you! I must be really thick skinned! But it was wonderful to see you so active. But what happened today? You were neither boxing nor cycling and you were busy sleeping! But anyway, happy that your heart is beating well, and you really looked even cuter this time. You didn't look skinny today. Compared to last time, you were chubbier. That makes your mom so happy and I wish I could touch your little cheeks and pat you! I love you!